The Square - Hylan Blvd (Staten Island, NY)

The Square

Square Sign on Hylan Blvd

Someone once said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. What took someone over 60 years to imitate the magic created at L&B Spumoni Gardens is beyond my comprehension. 

I was recently told that I "had to try" this because it's as "good as L&B." That's a VERY lofty statement in my world because L&B serves up the only Sicilian I willingly eat and I think that has to count for something. L&B also is the home of the triple parked car, the outrageously long lines, and can serve all the slices in a square pie (24 in total) in about 2 minutes on a slow day. But this is not about L&B, this is about the Square and how it measures up.

Square with Menu

At left is a pic of the menu and the overhead shot of the Square. My first impression was "Wow! They look like they really nailed it." Then I bit into it and those thoughts vanished. Sure the texture is similar with the cheese having been melted directly into the dough, hidden beneath a layer of thick, sweet sauce. The similarity between the imitator and the originator end there. The dough seemed dry and overdone compared to what L&B serves (I should know, I was there an hour later). The crunch on the bottom was a little extra crunchy compared to L&B and I actually liked the extra crunch. I did not like the dryness of the rest of the dough and the sauce, while sweet, was spread rather thinly and lacked other flavor beyond parmesan cheese.

Square - Side Angle

The Square also serves a slightly smaller piece than that of L&B but the size difference is marginal when you consider the $13 toll on the Verrazano Bridge. In the pic at right, you might be able to note the relative dryness in the dough, especially towards the left side of the piece (the right side has extra e.v.o.o. seeping into the dough. The Square is a decent alternative when taking the Bridge toll into consideration but to compare the two, there's ultimately no comparison. L&B was imitated and not duplicated by this small pizzeria with a very unassuming store front right off of Hylan Boulevard, ironically within 5 minutes of the aforementioned Bridge.

Rating - 2.75/5 - Maybe it was a bad day for the Square? Maybe eating there at lunch time  was not a good idea? Maybe the sauce needs a little work? Maybe I'm just a huge L&B fanboy but I'd welcome any pizzeria to make Squares the L&B way because it just tastes better. This is good but not great and I'd say if you are on SI, this is worth a look.


**Editor's Note - rating is based on the Square experience alone and the resulting score has nothing to do with the Pizza served at L&B. References to L&B are strictly made because of the obvious comparison.


Don't forget to follow me on Twitter - http://twitter.com/#!/5BoroFoodGuys

Best of the Best Tour - L&B

I left Brooklyn so many years ago it's getting too hard to keep track. The one place that I absolutely always needed to return to was Spumoni Gardens. Long before there were countless TV shows with random hosts coming and drooling over the pizza served at L&B, this family owned establishment has always had a lot full of cars coupled with cars being double and triple parked out front. Go there on any warm day in the summer and you'll see that same scene. Go there in the winter and the lot's still full and there may be some double parked cars. Pizza is cooked and served equally as fast.

I have so many stories and memories of visits to this place it can fill a book. As a kid growing up in BK, I knew good pizza and I also knew that L&B was the pinnacle - for two reasons:

1. When we were moving to SI, my uncle stopped with my brother and I, double parked our moving truck out front, and we grabbed some squares because he said, "you'll never eat pizza like this out there." While I wasn't sure he'd ever been to Staten Island to back up his statement, I believed him. He also said "you'll never see girls like these outside of Brooklyn." On a mid-August day, that's a VERY hard claim to refute.

and, more importantly

2. I do not eat squares. EVER. Except from here. That is a fairly large statement.

Revisiting an earlier post, I do not like thick, doughy pizza. The squares at Spumoni Gardens are not too thick and have a signature crunch that is out of this world. For me the secret to the success of their squares is in the cooking. The dough receives a healthy drizzle of olive oil, followed by a generous coating of sliced mozzarella, and then covered in a sweet, delicious, thick pizza sauce. Ultimately, the squares shine because this sauce is amazing. Yes, the crust is typically crunchy and perfect. Yes the cheese is melted in nicely, forming a nice, gooey layer on top of the dough. But at the end of the day, it's love at first bite because the sauce is just that damn good.

When living in SI, before gas prices were insane and the toll on the VZ bridge was somewhat tolerable, I would make 2-3 trips a week to the Gardens for squares and spumoni. Why? Because the squares are that good and the spumoni is the perfect finish after knocking off a couple of squares.

Rating - 5/5. This is the absolute best square your money can buy and the homemade spumoni is peerless.