Louie and Ernie's

Louie & Ernie's Exterior

I recently set out on a mission, a Bronx mission. For me, the Bronx is ripe with tradition - baseball and hip-hop come to mind. And the list of legends from both areas that were "born in the Bronx" are the who's who in baseball and hip-hop lore, respectively. The Bronx is also often unnoticed in the NY food scene, specifically pizza, but there are neighborhoods that were flooded with Italian immigrants and the food and culture still thrives.

I went to the Bronx, searching for some GOOD pizza and my research yielded a few spots, traffic only allowed me to hit up one. That one, had the fate of the Bronx on its shoulders. Could it deliver?

I have heard the name so often. Louie and Ernie. Louie and Ernie. This is your neighborhood pizzeria just maybe not in your neighborhood. Word on the street is that the calzone at Louie and Ernie's is a must have, especially if you get the calzone with prosciuttini. A slice and a calzone, why not? I'm a growing boy.

I started with the slice and I thought it was average. I've been to a multitude of neighborhood pizza joints in a number of neighborhoods across NYC, and rarely are those neighborhood joints so stand out that they are elevated to the top of the pizza chart. Louie and Ernie is really no exception. The pizza was average, just average.

Turning my sights to the calzone it was interesting. And not a good interesting. The dough on the exterior was deep fried having a similar taste and texture to a zeppole. The filling would have been relatively flavorless if not loaded up with black pepper. The prosciuttini had no flavor and this thing was just a major, major disappointment for me.

Rating - 2.25/5 - the pizza was average. Nothing really was outstanding. The sauce was bland. The cheese, bland. The dough/crust was good but lacking that crunch I crave. If I did a rating for L&E with the calzone included, it would have been brought down to a 1.5

Their site - doesn't exist but they're located at 1300 Crosby Ave.

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St. Marks 2 Bros Pizza

St. Marks 2 Bros Sign

Chances are you've seen a St. Mark's 2 Bros somewhere in the city. You may have even looked at it with a skeptical eye because, after all, they sell pizza for a dollar a piece. Everywhere else charges at least $2.25 and as you know, there's a lot of misses in the city and not as many hits. So I was out by Port Authority one evening and I said, "DJ, it's time to give the dollar store pizza a shot." I mean, how bad could it be? And would I really regret wasting a dollar if it was that bad? 

I must say, the place is clean, crowded and the lines are moving. This place was humming and they sell one of the better slices in all of NYC. The size, the flavor, the price all lead to St. Marks being a must try. Admit it, you love the fast food spots that have the dollar menu because you love the dollar menu. You might venture into the dollar store because you love a bargain. If you eat here it's because you just want good pizza at a GREAT price. This is everything good about your neighborhood pizzeria, minus the red drink.

Rating - 4.25/5 - an extra .25 because of the amazing price!

St Marks - That's a nice slice!

**Note - this review was based on my recent experience at the St. Mark's 2 Bros on 9th Ave. If you are walking down 9th from Uptown, do NOT go to the dump that sells 99 cent pizza. That place will not give you your penny back and they serve absolute garbage.

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Famous Amadeus Pizza

Famous Amadeus Pizza

Followers of my other blog Gothamburgers know of my recent run-in at Jimmy's Burger Shack. While I left Jimmy's full of sorrow, I made a left onto 8th avenue where someone famous was calling. That someone was Sean Combs. Are you doubting me Thomas? Well, go to Famous Amadeus Pizzeria on 8th Ave. and tell me that Mr. Combs' picture is not on the wall, calling you.

Interestingly, I was a bit confused by the name. Maybe it was Famous Amos but that was taken by that cookie guy? Or maybe it's just meant to be Amadeus? I hear the name Amadeus and Falco comes to mind. Falco and this guy.

Famous Amadeus Slice

In my undying quest to eat at every pizzeria in NYC, I ventured into Amadeus, not expecting much but knowing it was light years ahead of the competition across the street. Armed with a few bucks and low expectations, I gave Famous Amadeus a shot. How was it? Well, it was actually good. The sauce was tasty and had nice layers of flavor to it. The bottom had a nice crunch and the crust was good. My only issue was the copious amounts of cheese on the plain slice.

Rating - 3.25/5 - It's a bit pricy at $2.75 per for a plain but overall it's good, even with all that cheese. It's definitely better than that other place across the street so if you need pizza after a night at the garden, give Amadeus a shot. Be sure to ask the guy behind the counter to, "Rock me Amadeus."

Their site - http://www.famousamadeus.com/Welcome.tpl

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Grimaldi's Pizzeria

Grimaldi's Pizzeria - Exterior

People like me call it downtown Brooklyn. Fancy people may call it Brooklyn Heights or whatever the heck else they call these areas downtown. Personally, I don't care what you call it. Get anywhere near the Brooklyn Bridge, start sniffing for pizza and follow the scent. If you find an enormous line near a velvet rope, you've come to the right place.

"Nothing is worth that kind of wait." That's what the ignorant will say without ever having taken a bite of the coal fired awesomeness that is Grimaldi's pizza. Thin, fresh, delicious. There's not much else like this in all of NYC and let me tell you, there's a reason the big G ranks at or near the very top of all the "Best Pizza" lists for the 5 Boroughs.

Grimaldi's Pizzera - You know the rules

Loyal followers know that I am not fond of the pretentious "No slices" places, see Chipp, however there are pizzerias where this works. How? Well, for starters they have the rep to back it up. Secondly, the pizza is that good that you should want a minimum of 8 pieces so that even if you don't gorge you can gladly enjoy them later. Re-heated, not cold, of course.

Call it what you will but I go here for their signature pie with no toppings to litter the taste of the amazing sauce (light, sweet, and full of flavor), fresh mozzarella (this is mmm, mmmm good), and basil. The thin crust, coal fired masterpiece is served fast and HOT as their pizza man churns out pie after pie in record time to serve the masses.


Rating - 5/5 - This is the best of the best. I hear that eating this will make you look younger, act smarter, live forever, and give you cool points with even the most harsh critics. Remember the girl that would NEVER go to prom with you? Should have told her you eat here regularly and she'd have been convinced that you're not the loser she thought you to be.

Directions, hours, menu at - Grimaldi's own site.

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Luigi's Pizza - 8th Ave b/w 55th and 56th

Luigi's 8th Ave

Another day, another Luigi's. There are literally a million pizzerias in NYC and I seem to keep stumbling upon new ones named after the Nintendo icon's not-so-famous other brother. In honor of the death of Luigi's on West End and 61st is another Luigi's for you.

The sign says they've been there since 1975. That's somewhat impressive because that's totally like forever ago, it's older than me, and there's another pizzeria that's like 3 doors down (no not the rock n roll band, literally three doors away) so it must be good. MUST BE!

Or not. I mean, when you live my life you gotta eat pizza and you gotta eat pizza from places named Luigi's. You just gotta. Or I gotta. Whatever. Don't confuse me here. So I go to this Luigi's, basking in my accomplishments in the deaths of WSBS and the aforementioned West End Luigi's. Before you go all soft on me, just remember that saving the world from bad food is part of my super-hero code of ethics.

Luigi's Slice - 8th Ave

Luigi's Slice - 8th Ave - Floppy

Back to the slice at hand....well, it's $2.50 for a plain which is essentially the de-facto price in NYC (unless you go to 2 Bros. Pizza and we're going there soon kids!) and it's a big enough slice to justify something or other with the price point. However, the slice must deliver. Does it? Size does matter so it gets a point there. That's a heck of a lot of cheese. Did I order extra cheese? I didn't think so but whatever, Trevor. I'm hungry and ready to eat. First bite, not bad. Not much flavor at all, but not awful. Trust me I know awful. But, this Luigi does not deliver and what's the nail in the coffin? Look at that flop. I haven't seen a flop like that since I won that hold 'em tourney at the Trop last summer. Oy vey Luigi. You have not rescued the Princess with this one.

Rating - 1.5/5 - Size matters so that's all the points you get. Flavorless and floppy are the F words I'll use since I keep this PG.

Their site - http://www.luigispizzanyc.com/ 

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Broadway Pizza

Broadway Pizza - 99th and B'way

Broadway Pizza - Good Size

My most recent eatercising adventure included a 3 mile jaunt with 5 stops along the way. One of the five was Broadway Pizza, conveniently located on Broadway and 99th. The medium sized pizzeria features entrees and sandwiches as well but we all know why I was there. The competition is plentiful, but not so fierce when venturing up and down Broadway from Lincoln Center to say 110th but you need to know where to spend your pizza eating dollars.

The slice offered at Broadway Pizza is good size and is comparably priced to the rest of the joints on B'way (Sal & Carmine's, Cafe Viva, Cheesy Pizza, Two Boots, etc.) The difference here is that Broadway Pizza may in face have the best slice of them all. The plan, cheese slice had really good sauce and the perfect sauce:cheese ratio, thin crust, nice crunch.

Of all the pizza I've had in this area, Broadway Pizza has the best tasting slice, not the biggest since Sal & Carmine's takes that honor, but the slice at Broadway resembled pizza, all the way through as opposed to that slop I got at S&C. More importantly, it tasted good. The sauce really jumped out at me here and I enjoyed the slice as I strolled down B'way to my next destination...

Rating - 3.5/5 - Nothing overwhelming here. A good slice at a decent price. $2.50 seems to be the going rate around most of Manhattan but I'll soon show you how we buck that trend to get an absolutely DELICIOUS slice (along with one that is not so delicious so buyer beware and stay tuned)!

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Chipp

Ever notice the rash of pizzerias that are so self-important that they dare not serve you a slice of pizza. Some have earned that degree of status (Lombardi's and Grimaldi's come to mind and they often exchange the top slot for the best pizzeria in the 5 boroughs). Some of the New Pizzas On The Block (NPOTB if you will) are coming up and claiming that they too can sell you a full pie, no slices commoner!

Venturing through the old hood, I saw this place Chipp that was on Ocean and Z, right at my old bus stop. Naturally I had to go here. Inside, the place is gorgeous! Very clean, modern, and had a good looking interior. Let's not forget the brick oven. I wander in and gave the menu a once over and was impressed with what they had to offer - particularly this dessert pizza that featured a nice mix of fresh fruits, why more place do not do dessert pizza is beyond me. BE CREATIVE! Chipp gets points there. Where Chipp loses points is when I go to the counter and ask for a slice and the girl said, "we don't do that here." To which I replied, "I figured. That's too bad." She said, "get a pie, it's small. Maybe the size of two slices." I told her, "No thanks. It's a little pricey for two slices." Nearly $9 for the equivalent of two slices of pizza. This aint DiFara's and that's hardly worth it either.

Rating - N/A - I'd love to just say 0. Maybe I'll get here one day. Maybe not. Probably not. That's a lotta dough for 2 slices of pizza.

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Brooklyn's Finest

Now That's Buffalo Chicken

Brooklyn this, Brooklyn that. Want the best sandwich? Go to Brooklyn. Want the best bagel? Go to Brooklyn. Want the best pizza? Go to Brooklyn. What to do when you're not in Brooklyn but want the best? Do not be tempted to go to the places that reference Brooklyn in their store name. It's not just a New York phenomenon because you can go to most any state to find New York style something, and sometimes more specifically, Brooklyn style.

Now that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's actually somewhat flattering and definitely a sound business plan. All that aside, there's a new contender for your pizza buying dollars on Staten Island and the theme is Brooklyn Dodgers based. The restaurant? Brooklyn's Finest. Why Brooklyn's Finest is on Staten Island is curious. Why there's no Richard Gere photos is beyond me too. The restaurant has sandwiches themed for the various neighborhoods of the best borough. BF is relatively new (opened April 2011) and is located really close to the Bridge but being so close to the bridge that separates SI and BK, you better be really good to want to entice me not to cross the bridge.

Grandma's Boy

The pizza offerings were vast, so vast that three needed to be sampled because I was my usual slovenly self and I was also feeling rather indecisive. That all being said, the buffalo chicken pizza really was an eye opener. This was like one of my most favoritest buffalo chicken pizzas ever. EVER! Two things made it great: 1) the buffalo chicken was actually spicy 2) the pizza dough was thick, no sauce (pizza sauce that is), and the perfect amount of cheese.

Hmmm. You look familiar.

The other sampled pieces were a grandma slice (good taste, GREAT sauce, but lacked the crunch at the bottom) and an L&B style square that delivered with the same great sauce, overall good flavor, but very thin in comparison. Thickness was about double that of the grandma square but still too thin to replicate the L&B square. Not that I am saying the goal was to replicate said square but they went through great lengths to make it look like that square.

Rating - 3.25/5 Lots of stuff to try and the specialty pies really seemed to be the way to go. There was cheesesteak, buffalo, marsala, ziti, etc. The buffalo was really good and I think the rest looked to be worthy of a second look.

Brooklyn's Finest is located at 1250 Hylan Blvd in the same shopping plaza as Bocelli's.

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The Square - Hylan Blvd (Staten Island, NY)

The Square

Square Sign on Hylan Blvd

Someone once said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. What took someone over 60 years to imitate the magic created at L&B Spumoni Gardens is beyond my comprehension. 

I was recently told that I "had to try" this because it's as "good as L&B." That's a VERY lofty statement in my world because L&B serves up the only Sicilian I willingly eat and I think that has to count for something. L&B also is the home of the triple parked car, the outrageously long lines, and can serve all the slices in a square pie (24 in total) in about 2 minutes on a slow day. But this is not about L&B, this is about the Square and how it measures up.

Square with Menu

At left is a pic of the menu and the overhead shot of the Square. My first impression was "Wow! They look like they really nailed it." Then I bit into it and those thoughts vanished. Sure the texture is similar with the cheese having been melted directly into the dough, hidden beneath a layer of thick, sweet sauce. The similarity between the imitator and the originator end there. The dough seemed dry and overdone compared to what L&B serves (I should know, I was there an hour later). The crunch on the bottom was a little extra crunchy compared to L&B and I actually liked the extra crunch. I did not like the dryness of the rest of the dough and the sauce, while sweet, was spread rather thinly and lacked other flavor beyond parmesan cheese.

Square - Side Angle

The Square also serves a slightly smaller piece than that of L&B but the size difference is marginal when you consider the $13 toll on the Verrazano Bridge. In the pic at right, you might be able to note the relative dryness in the dough, especially towards the left side of the piece (the right side has extra e.v.o.o. seeping into the dough. The Square is a decent alternative when taking the Bridge toll into consideration but to compare the two, there's ultimately no comparison. L&B was imitated and not duplicated by this small pizzeria with a very unassuming store front right off of Hylan Boulevard, ironically within 5 minutes of the aforementioned Bridge.

Rating - 2.75/5 - Maybe it was a bad day for the Square? Maybe eating there at lunch time  was not a good idea? Maybe the sauce needs a little work? Maybe I'm just a huge L&B fanboy but I'd welcome any pizzeria to make Squares the L&B way because it just tastes better. This is good but not great and I'd say if you are on SI, this is worth a look.


**Editor's Note - rating is based on the Square experience alone and the resulting score has nothing to do with the Pizza served at L&B. References to L&B are strictly made because of the obvious comparison.


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Suggestions?

Have a spot in the 5 boroughs you think I should hit up? Comment here and I'll be sure to add it to my list. Thanks!

It Means White House - Casabianca (57th Street 10th Ave)

Sometimes, even in the city that never sleeps it's hard to find a good slice of pizza. Not because they're not out there but because they, the pizza hiders like to hide themselves in some random places. In this case, they are the folks at Casabianca. I don't know much about the rent situation in NYC but I am certain it's so ridiculous that you need to be creative with where you place your eateries. It's probably why I don't have an eatery to call my own where I can serve you some of the finest treats my hands and mind can create.

Did you know Casabianca means white house? That's an Italian thing. Did you know "Paint the White House Black" was a song by George Clinton f. Ice Cube? Well it is and I own it on a cassette single. Did you also know that Casablanca was a movie from the 1940s and that means White House in Spanish. Lesson over.

If you have the pleasure of finding Casabianca you will simultaneously have the pleasure of finding a truly delicious slice of pizza. Fresh mozzarella, sauce, fresh basil. WOW! Loads of flavor here and the sauce was able to stand out . The crust was just about right and I think this slice is really worth the walk if you are in the area - especially if you consider that Luigi's place I spoke of last week. Are there other options? Sure but this is a really good bet if you're out eatercising on the UWS or in Hell's Kitchen. Just remember if you are walking down 10th you have to make a turn towards the Hudson to find this place.

Rating - 4/5 - Good flavor, good texture. Didn't blow me away but I would recommend their pizza. 

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I Need You! Queens Pizza!!

Greetings fans. I need you, yes YOU to guide me. I'm really curious about a borough I have spent the LEAST amount of time in and admittedly am afraid of. I'm looking for the BEST pizza that Queens has to offer. Not your average stuff, I want the best from LIC to LI, Glendale to Garden City (I know that's LI but I needed a G, ok?)

Leave a comment with what you think is the BEST Queens has to offer and I am there! And if it's on the LI border, I'll do it and claim it for Queens but don't try to sneak me something on the BK border because I know those boundaries!

Thanks!
DJ

No More Games - Tony's (431A Dekalb Ave - Brooklyn)

Tony's

Word on the street, that street being Dekalb Ave, is that Tony has been rockin' the spot since 1969. He's a one man show, cooking up hot and delicious pizza inside his tiny pizza joint that's big enough to hold a handful of people at most, including Tony on his side of the counter. You want no frills, this is no frills. But do not mistake no frills for no good because that's just silly, you silly goose.

Red Drink

A staple in the BK pizza scene is not the crunchy, thin crust I've raved about. It's not the delicious sauce. For me, it's actually the machine you see at right. This is not a common find outside of Brooklyn and I'm not sure it's truly, fully appreciated by the transplants. There are three things that I want from my pizza spots. Pizza, red drink, and ices. It's a very simple formula that I was spoiled by as a child. Moving away from BK, one thing became strangely obvious, red drink was really hard to come by (same goes for orange and purple but I'm a red fan myself).

That's a damn good slice

Seeing this machine puts me right back to my childhood when, many moons ago, you could get a cup of red and a slice for a buck. At Tony's, that same combo ran my $3.25 and I was not complaining. I visited here right as I finished my slice from Luigi's (the good Luigi's) and I was ready for what I had heard was another good slice. Tony delivered. Hot, fresh, delicious. The sauce really stood out as the flavors really popped when it hit my mouth.

Rating - 5/5 - Red drink and pizza. A big slice that might be good enough to fill you up with a large drink.

Editor's Note - Eatercising at it's finest is taking the train to downtown BK and hitting up Luigi's and Tony's for some great pizza. There's a lot more to do and if I may sneak something non-Pizza your way, it's filled with Nutella and it's from Dough...

The Other Brother - Luigi's (326 Dekalb Ave - Brooklyn)

Sticking with yesterday's theme, I needed to give the plumber in green a shot at redemption. No, I'm not crazy and did NOT return to that Luigi's. Instead, I found my way to the train, found my sister on said train, and hit up BK. Brooklyn, not NYC at large, has a reputation for the BEST pizza your precious pennies can buy. It has that rep because it earned it. It earned it from the most discerning critics you can imagine. It's often emulated but unless you eat some real deal Brooklyn pizza, you know it's rarely duplicated. Please keep in mind that our other Luigi's is NOT related to this Luigi's, things don't work that way thankfully, just ask the folks at Ray's in NYC. In my world, we call this, the build up. Well, we're building up to Luigi's. A tiny, neighborhood spot on Dekalb Ave (near Pratt if that means something to you) that's not much more than a store front. But who needs more? It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood so why not grab one to go and then walk and eat? I call it eatercising.

I was urged to try Luigi's by a longtime friend that calls Luigi's his go-to pizzeria. I gladly obliged and was happy that I did. The slice here is perfect. Thin but not too thin. What does that mean? There's some depth to the dough and it's not razor thin, ready to cave from the weight of the sauce and cheese. Speaking of the sauce, it had flavor and the appropriate consistency. It was thin but not watery. The cheese provided the proper final layer and was melted nicely and not too heavy sitting on top. Unlike the OTHER Luigi's that deserves no more props who had cheese that settled so heavily on top that it laid there like Marv Albert's wig - YES!

This is the Brooklyn I know. Not that I grew up anywhere near there but you can find this perfect pizza by strolling just a couple of blocks from home. I've read some reviews that mentioned "this pizza isn't good cold" and some other nonsense. If you are gauging food that is meant to be eaten hot, (so hot that it will cause the roof of your mouth to blister) on how it tastes when cold, you are an idiot. I say to that fool, get Elio's if you want cold pizza because you surely don't deserve this. This is your basic, not so many frills pizzeria that serves up a perfectly cooked, flavorful slice without a ton of options to overwhelm the user. Want something with pineapples or any exotic toppings, save it for those chains that will satiate your every whim.

Rating - 5/5. It's neighborhood pizza at it's finest and perfect to grab a slice and go for a walk through Pratt's grounds to enjoy the artwork.

Editor's note - Dominic was often "forced" to play as Luigi as a child. We don't feel this had any impact on his psychological development and did not swing his opinion of this pizzeria in any manner.

You're No Mario - Luigi's (West End Ave - 61st St.)

Hello? Is anyone out...Oh hi! Hello there! Thanks for coming by. Before we get started I have something I really need to tell you. I, yes I, am a video game nerd. I'll even go a bit further and tell you that when I see Mario's face on a game, I'm all over it. It's been that way since forever and I'm not gonna change. He's always off on some crazy adventure to save the Princess with his brother and some mushroom men in tow. Luigi? Sidekick, straight up. But he was thrust into the spotlight once to save the Princess. JK, he had to save Mario. I'd be first in line to save my brother if he went missing but a little help is appreciated. After all, Mario always gets the girl and is constantly trying to save her and all Luigi gets to do is go to a ghost infested mansion and save Mario. Speaking of Mario, I've always found it a bit odd that his last name is Mario. Mario Mario just sounds a bit over the top but may be appropriate considering his star status, pun not intended. Luigi Mario seems like a somewhat normal name, maybe his papers got screwed up at Ellis Island, things happen.

You may recall that I recently reviewed a new Pizzeria/Restaurant in Hell's Kitchen called Uncle Mario's. That place is really going to be a contender for that neighborhood's pizza attention and rightfully so. Slightly further uptown and a bit more west is Mario's brother, not really but work with me here, Luigi's. Located on 61st and West End, Luigi's is one of the rare NYC Pizzeria's that has no competition for a long stretch of streets (assuming you stay on West End so don't get cute and walk to 10th or 9th and tell me there's something close because I won't listen.)

Luigi's is really large which leads me to believe they must serve a lot of people or else the space is just wasted. The interior is rather dark and I was thinking that a cock-fight or a numbers ring would be perfectly served in here. Maybe it is and I just don't know it? Maybe I just have a vivid imagination? Maybe, just maybe. Life's like a bowl of maybes covered in a box of chocolates. Chocolate covered maybes.

Speaking of wasted, that's what happened with my time and money. I got a slice, it was really BIG and the $2.50 paid was reasonable considering the size and that is the going rate at most NYC places. I was just hoping to eat something that didn't just look like pizza but maybe tasted like it too. Or at least tasted like pizza that wasn't IDENTICAL to what I ate in public school cafeterias growing up in Brooklyn. The taste was so eerily similar I was immediately transported back without the help of warp zones and large green pipes. Everything about this slice screamed don't eat more than one bite. So I barely did. I got half way through it, decided it was basically as gross as the sausage slice from Sal and Carmine's and had to part ways with it. The sauce was definitely out of a jar. DEFINITELY! I know jar sauce. I loathe jar sauce. I felt betrayed. Mario always saves the Princess, Luigi got to save Mario once, but nothing can save you if you stumble in here looking for a piece of real pizza.

Rating - 0.5/5 - If you are STARVING and have $2.50 and will die without any sustenance, this large slice will feed you and hold you over for a while. It's not inedible, it just tastes like it was not too fresh. The guy behind the counter seemed nice though.

Editor's note - If solely grading the sausage slice at Sal & Carmine's, that would have received the same rating.

Returning To My Roots - Totonno's (Neptune Ave.)

Whoever said you can't go home again lied. They lied right to your pretty little face. They probably lied when they told you they love you or when they complimented that sweater you wore to work last week. I'm not one that looks for reasons as to why the liars lie, I just look to punch their lying mouths until the truth comes out. Why? Because the truth hurts.

So my latest and greatest Brooklyn adventure took me back to where I will always consider home, Coney Island. It was there that my mom was raised and my grandparents and great-grandparents lived when settling in this fine country. No, CI is not nearly the same place it was back in the 50's and 60's but I'm happy to say it's not nearly the dump it was when I was a kid in the 80's and 90's either. The renaissance continues with new rides, interest, and enthusiasm for the south side of BK.

They, above right, used the sauce to the left to make the masterpiece seen to the right.

There are three CI constants for the last 75+ years - Nathan's, the Cyclone, and Totonno's. Totonno's is a really small, unassuming pizzeria located on Neptune Ave near W. 16th. If you're not really looking for it, you may not find it - unless the line is out the door, then you know where to go. Since 1924, Totonno's has been serving up a premier, thin-crust, Margherita style pizza. Everything here is fresh. The sauce is perfection in sauce form.

You owe it to yourself to go here and eat this true NY Legend. Why it's not mentioned more in all the "Best Pizza in NY" talk is beyond me but maybe they should start asking people who know a thing or two about pizza. I've had almost all of the so-called best and this is better than most.

Rating - 5/5 - Maybe there's a hint of nostalgia and pride added in here but there's absolutely nothing bad to say about pizza that is perfectly made, fresh to order, and sold only as a pie. Trust me, even YOU can eat one of these pies. Just wear your sweatpants and go eat it on the boardwalk.

What's Better Than Pizza For Dinner? - Max Brenner

While my affinity for pizza is quite obvious, there are so many options to choose from. I'm reminded of a recent comment from someone in Chicago that said, "There's no way pizza in New York is better than Chicago-style pizza." My reply was simply, "It's a matter of taste but have you ever tried NY style pizza." The response was, "No." And my case was rested.

There's a huge difference, obviously, and to be honest, I'm not about to dive deep (no pun intended, or was it?) into the NY-Chicago pizza feud but I can say that I've traveled across much of this country and everywhere I go there are pizzerias serving "Authentic NY Style Pizza" and I can't say the same for the Chi-town variety.

Where were we? Pizza. Right, yes pizza is something that can be eaten for all three meals - breakfast pizza is an AMAZING way to start the day and it's a natural fit for a quick lunch or easy dinner. But nearly every pizzeria is missing the boat as they're not offering a dessert option for this delectable dish. Until a chocolate man came along. Pizza, meet Max Brenner. Max, meet pizza. If you are not familiar with Max Brenner, he's bald and he <3s chocolate, a lot. It may not be that legible in the above photo but the store's sign says, "Chocolate By The Bald Man." Max has many brilliant, delicious, sweet concoctions but one that really stands out and is ordered each time I go is his Chocolate Chunks Pizza. This dessert icon is served half or whole (half is really for losers so just go full monty) and is described as follows:

Max's double chocolate melting chunks & a choice of: crunchy hazelnut bits, bananas, peanut butter or roasted marshmallows.

They also serve this with "The Works" for an extra dollar. Spend the dollar and do it right. If you are not a choco-holic or you don't generally enjoy dessert, do not go here thinking this man will change your outlook on the subject so don't come crying to me saying "it's too sweet" or "wow it's messy" or "he's really bald." All those topics have been covered. But if you do like chocolate and sweets in general, go here right now and stop sitting around reading this blog but please, tell your friends because sharing is caring and you really can't eat this thing alone.

Rating - 5/5. This is so sweet, messy, and delicious. It's one of the best compliments to any meal I can think of.

Marilu, Where Are You?

Authentic, Italian style pizza? What does that even mean? Have I been lied to all these years? The deception! The betrayal. Why go all the way to Italy, with the flying and the customs and the passports and what have you when you can go to 9th avenue to taste the old world?

Speaking of 9th avenue, if you're loyal to my blogging, I obviously took a stroll down there one day and as I stroll, I eat, as I eat, I blog. The strolling and blogging buys me time to eat more as I drift down the street that is littered with restaurants.

Marilu has a pretty fair amount of tables to go with an abundance of selections. I went for a simple slice and then one of their Italian style slices that had sausage and broccoli rabe - insert fat, italian kid joke here.

The plain slice was pretty much that. Plain. Oh and it was salty. Salty and plain. I didn't care for it much. Even with the crunchy crust and nicely flavored sauce. The saltiness was so overwhelming it just hit me the wrong way. Strangely enough, it seemed like the salt flavor was abundant in the dough but I'm still convinced it was the cheese. It was thin slice, but perhaps a little too thin. Maybe it was thin because summer is coming and it's almost time for bathing suit weather? Maybe I didn't need a burger and three slices with bathing suit weather bearing down on us...

Fortunately once slice can never fill me up and I opted for the piece with sausage and rabe. This is worth the trip to Marilu. There were so many options with these old world style pieces and each one looked like. The thinly sliced sausage was very flavorful and the bitterness of the broccoli rabe are always a perfect medley. The thin, crunchy crust is enhanced by the rabe n sausage. This was something very special.

Did I mention that the guy at the counter bore a resemblance to Quentin Tarantino? That is worth something in a Quentin Tarantino look-alike contest for sure.

Rating - 4.25/5 - Plain slice left a little to be desired. The other option really won me over and makes it worth a second and probably a third visit.

They are located at 791 9th Ave (between 52nd St & 53rd St) 

I Didn't Know We Were Related - Uncle Mario's (9th Ave)

Apparently there's an Uncle Mario in my life and he resides on 9th avenue. Uncle Mario, no relation to Super Mario as far as I know, is open for business. Like incest, I keep it all in the family so I paid Uncle Mario a visit to see what he was offering. 

Armed with a brick oven, some flat screen TVs, and a saucy, middle-aged waitress who gave me the bedroom eyes, Uncle Mario's is definitely going to be an eatery to be reckoned with - even on the packed landscape up and down 9th avenue by restaurant row.

Entering Uncle Mario's is like entering a pizza porn shop. There were so many options sitting there waiting to be eaten it was nearly impossible to choose one. They all looked so good - from the regular pies to a chicken marsala pie that looked better than anything I ordered but I was on my 3rd meal of the hour so I had to take it easy.

I also needed a baseline, one that I'm using to gauge what a pizzeria can do so I sampled a Margherita slice and a white slice. Why a margherita? Well it's 5 o'clock somewhere was my rationale. Truth be told, if I have to pick between a regular slice and a margherita, I'll go with the latter at every chance. It's usually lighter and less salty and it gives me a chance to compare to good ol' Lombardi's.

White pizza is a guilty pleasure. It's less overwhelming than a calzone and tastes just as good. The margherita was crispy, thin, fresh cheese, fresh basil, and a delicious sauce that was not muddled down with too much seasoning to detract from the overall medley of flavors that Uncle M was bringing. As another example, take a look at the mac-n-cheese pizza to the left. I'll go back and let you kids know what I think. I saw this and thought of Kevin. Kevin, you know you thought of yourself too.

I will definitely be going back to try these and any other pies they've got. Especially you chicken marsala siciliano. I've got my eye on you.

Rating - 4.5/5 If they can consistently churn out pizzas like these, look out. Everyone will know their name if they don't already. They immediately enter the NYC pizza scene as a contender for the best in town.

Love At First Bite? - Justino's Pizza (10th Ave.)

Scattered throughout NYC (Staten Island too) is Justino's Pizzeria. I lived on Staten Island for nearly 15 years and I honestly never heard of them but that has no larger meaning since I wasn't an official member of the Staten Island Pizza Society (SIPS).

Nestled in the heart of NYC, on 10th Ave by 57th, Justino's is not much more than a small store front to grab a slice or a pie to go - further proving that the NYC landscape is incomplete sans a pizzeria every few blocks. Does Justino's deliver? Yes, literally. But what about the figurative? Is their slice worth your hard earned dollars? According to their menu it says, "Love at first bite." I'm not sure if I'd get that carried away but it is a clever slogan and I'm a fan of those. I'm also a fan of long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, Spanish poetry...but let's talk pizza. I am pretty sure they also reference their SI presence and I really doubt that anyone in NYC, specifically that area in NYC even knows the general direction that SI is in.

I think they deserve a look. Ordering a whole pie for delivery is always a tricky task as the pie will often get mushy from the steam effect inside the box. The steam effect, for those who don't know, has an end result of a soggy dough and crust, thus making the pizza chewier than it should be. Not terrible but it's not the ideal situation to gauge your pizza experience. At Justino's, the sauce did have a nice flavor and the pizza was not too thick and doughy (thankfully or else the steam would have given it a bubble gum texture. 

In contrast to the pie was a single, solitary white slice. Again, the best way to gauge a pizzeria is by how their slices are and this white slice can really hold it's own. Cheese, garlic, fresh basil. Wow. And the size was formidable and the crust packed a very nice crunch.

Rating - 3.5/5 - The plain cheese was a tad salty but not overwhelming. The white slice was divine, I loved the copious amounts of garlic and fresh basil. I would certainly go here again as I am curious about their "L&B Style Square."

Oh, and there's really no such thing as the SIPS but if anyone wants to start one the name belongs to me.

UWS - Sal & Carmine's

I draw a lot of my life lessons from the hip-hop I was weened on. At the ripe old age of 10, I was listening to Public Enemy and a song stands out that is so appropriate for this review. More on that in a second.

I often get asked, "Why don't you post any bad reviews?" The answer, simply put, I don't often eat bad food. Yes, I do get disappointed at times but it's rare that something is so bad that I just do not enjoy it. Plus, I feel as if I should be steering you towards good food, not bad, but I've got to find a balance.

One actor that I do not enjoy, even a little, is that Eisenberg guy that was in Adventureland, Zombieland, Facebook the Movie, etc. and had I seen this prior to venturing uptown, I'd have had second thoughts. My research told me that the kid's a New Yorker, city boy even (if Queens counts) so I tried to give him a pass. On top of tip #4 from the aforementioned article, was this gem. There was no way that I was going to miss one of the Elite 8. Especially since the writer/reviewer threw in Joe's & Pat's from Staten Island - while they have arguably the best slice on the Island, it takes some research to put SI on the map like that.

Back to Public Enemy. The year, 1988. The song, "Don't Believe The Hype." Enough said.

I just had to have this pizza that has been appearing on a lot of peoples' radars in recent months. So I ventured up and found myself at Sal & Carmine's. A small, unassuming pizza joint that serves massive slices and has real tight space. Size doesn't matter since it's gotta be made good - crust, cheese, sauce. The plain slice delivered. Amazing crunch. Cheese - as usual, it's the salty dilemma I've mentioned before but not too bad. Sauce - nothing to write home about because if granny was making this she'd have lost stove privileges long ago. Overall, I was satisfied with the cooking and size of the slice to the left. The sauce was blah but I still enjoyed this piece and would eat it again.

One piece was not going to cut it so I tried my hand, foolishly, with a sausage slice. I say foolishly because it looked bad (too thin and sunken in in the middle) while sitting on the counter. It also looked uncooked but it's fair to say that some more cooking the first time around would have totally made it melt through the paper thin (literally, not figuratively) bottom crust. I got it anyway, and well, have a peek. It's basically translucent (I think that's a word that means what I want it to mean) and that doesn't work. How bad was it? I couldn't even eat it because this mess was somehow so uncooked that the dough tasted like uncooked dough and it just sucked. Oh, and it was FLOPPY.

In closing, this isn't must have. If you must have it, go with a plain slice. Play it safe. Marvel at it's size. Wince at its price. And then move on to bigger and better pizza.

Rating - 2/5 And that's overall - helped out A LOT by the plain slice.